In my last post, I mentioned that I had just finished treatment for ovarian cancer. Luckily, the cyst was discovered during an annual exam and removed during what is called 'debulking' surgery. The tumor was determined to be Stage I and there was no spread of the disease. In discussion with my oncologist, I decided to go through chemotherapy as extra insurance - to make sure any microscopic cells were destroyed - essentially reducing the chance of recurrence to almost zero.
The hardest part of the whole ordeal? Transitioning from caregiver to care-needer.
I came by my Caregiver badge honestly, with brief periods caring for my 100-year old grandmother and terminally ill mother, and a nearly 10 year stint caring for my disabled and chronically ill husband. I juggled them with a full time job, raising two (amazing) daughters, and owning a store in downtown Annapolis. I had convinced myself I could do it all. And then all of a sudden, I couldn't. There was no way I was going to be able to get through the chemotherapy without asking for help. And that bothered me more than anything. It took several weeks for me to work up the courage to ask my closest friends for help.
Guess what? It really wasn't that bad. I made specific requests for help (healthful meals that appealed to preteen and teen girls was a primary need), enjoyed catching up with old friends who expressed concern and best wishes, and focused on taking care of myself - mainly sleeping when I was tired and drinking lots and lots of water. I reached out to the parents of my youngest daughter's closest friends, and they came to my rescue with playdates and overnights to distract her. My older daughter spent her summer doing teen things - mostly involving nail polish - but also taking care of me (she's a natural caregiver).
Now that the chemotherapy is over, I'm looking forward to returning to my previous "take charge" persona and energy level. But I've learned how to ask for help when I need it. And that's a lesson I'll keep with me forever.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
It Didn't Hurt a Bit: My Acupuncture Experience
After four rounds of chemotherapy, the fatigue and neuropathy, which for me translated into tingly and numb fingertips and bone pain in my knees and shins, were constant and persistent. The bone pain kept me up at night, all night, while the fatigue made everything much harder to accomplish. For the record, let me say that I'm not the most patient patient. I want to be better NOW.
I began to tire of the fog that came with the drugs that took the edge off the pain. I asked my oncologist for suggestions. In addition to saying that it just takes time, he said that I might want to consider acupuncture, which had shown better results than medication in relieving bone pain.
Oh, crap, I thought. A good friend swore by acupuncture and had been encouraging me to try it. I kept putting her off, telling her that I didn't really like the idea of needles stuck into my body. Especially after the IVs and blood tests I had been through, I wanted to be done with needles for a while.
I had done some research and had heard from others about the effectiveness of acupuncture, I was still leery. However, that my oncologist is someone who is driven by data rather than touchy-feely mumbo jumbo pushed me over the edge. I called my friend and she made a joint appointment at a local facility, knowing that I might back out if left on my own.
The facility reminded me of a spa, only instead of massage tables in individual rooms, there was a large room with a half dozen oversized recliners. Music played softly, just covering the sounds of the air conditioner. Three of the chairs were occupied by napping women covered with light blankets. After filling out the standard forms and discussing my issues with Mina, who is a Registered Nurse as well as a Licensed Acupuncturist, I took my place in one of the chairs and tried to relax.
Mina placed a dozen needles - and I only felt a zing from one of them. Having stepped on or impaled myself with a good number of quilting needles, I expected worse. Almost immediately, I felt a weight in my torso. I didn't drift off to sleep, but came close a few times. It wasn't so bad. After about 45 minutes, she removed the needles and the session was over. Because my fingers were bothering me the most, that's the area she focused on. Over the next day or two, I noticed that the tingling and numbness in my fingers had decreased by about 40%. However, the leg pain and fatigue was just as bad if not worse. So I went back for a second round.
This time, Mina used about 20 needles and focused on my leg pain, placing them in my arms as well as my feet. The session was longer, about an hour, and I came close to falling asleep this time. Maybe I nodded off for a few minutes. When it was finished, I felt lighter somehow, and had even less tingly-ness in my fingers -- probably down to about 20%. Two days later, I'm still more fatigued than I'd like, but my leg pain is less severe. Mina recommended two or three treatments for the first few weeks, followed by weekly treatments, and a reassessment about a month later. I think I'm going to stick with her plan.
More information about Acupuncture
I visited Annapolis Community Acupuncture, owned by Mina Johns. Annapolis Community Acupuncture a member of the The People's Organization of Community Acupuncture, whose mission is to make group acupuncture accessible and affordable. I appreciate their payment scale that leaves the fee up to the client -- in Annapolis, MD the lowest fee is $15 per session, making it affordable for almost everyone. If you want to read some studies on the effectiveness of acupuncture, this is a good place to start: NIH Study on Acupuncture.
I began to tire of the fog that came with the drugs that took the edge off the pain. I asked my oncologist for suggestions. In addition to saying that it just takes time, he said that I might want to consider acupuncture, which had shown better results than medication in relieving bone pain.
Oh, crap, I thought. A good friend swore by acupuncture and had been encouraging me to try it. I kept putting her off, telling her that I didn't really like the idea of needles stuck into my body. Especially after the IVs and blood tests I had been through, I wanted to be done with needles for a while.
I had done some research and had heard from others about the effectiveness of acupuncture, I was still leery. However, that my oncologist is someone who is driven by data rather than touchy-feely mumbo jumbo pushed me over the edge. I called my friend and she made a joint appointment at a local facility, knowing that I might back out if left on my own.The facility reminded me of a spa, only instead of massage tables in individual rooms, there was a large room with a half dozen oversized recliners. Music played softly, just covering the sounds of the air conditioner. Three of the chairs were occupied by napping women covered with light blankets. After filling out the standard forms and discussing my issues with Mina, who is a Registered Nurse as well as a Licensed Acupuncturist, I took my place in one of the chairs and tried to relax.
Mina placed a dozen needles - and I only felt a zing from one of them. Having stepped on or impaled myself with a good number of quilting needles, I expected worse. Almost immediately, I felt a weight in my torso. I didn't drift off to sleep, but came close a few times. It wasn't so bad. After about 45 minutes, she removed the needles and the session was over. Because my fingers were bothering me the most, that's the area she focused on. Over the next day or two, I noticed that the tingling and numbness in my fingers had decreased by about 40%. However, the leg pain and fatigue was just as bad if not worse. So I went back for a second round.
This time, Mina used about 20 needles and focused on my leg pain, placing them in my arms as well as my feet. The session was longer, about an hour, and I came close to falling asleep this time. Maybe I nodded off for a few minutes. When it was finished, I felt lighter somehow, and had even less tingly-ness in my fingers -- probably down to about 20%. Two days later, I'm still more fatigued than I'd like, but my leg pain is less severe. Mina recommended two or three treatments for the first few weeks, followed by weekly treatments, and a reassessment about a month later. I think I'm going to stick with her plan.
More information about Acupuncture
I visited Annapolis Community Acupuncture, owned by Mina Johns. Annapolis Community Acupuncture a member of the The People's Organization of Community Acupuncture, whose mission is to make group acupuncture accessible and affordable. I appreciate their payment scale that leaves the fee up to the client -- in Annapolis, MD the lowest fee is $15 per session, making it affordable for almost everyone. If you want to read some studies on the effectiveness of acupuncture, this is a good place to start: NIH Study on Acupuncture.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Soothing Sounds
Some of you may know that this blog is part of a larger vision ... a website that is a center of all things about caring. Very, very soon, Boheez.com will be launching and this blog will be integrated into it. We will include resources (many recommended by you), as well as great gifts that show you care ... for yourself, others and the world around us. Sometimes, we've been lucky enough to find a single product can scratch all three itches.
Wind chimes happen to be one of my favorite gifts to give, either for special occasions or "just because." I can choose from a larger chime (like the 26" long Ode to Joy) or a smaller 12" precious stone chime (to the right). Both chimes are made by Woodstock Chimes in upstate New York. If you've been in any garden store recently, you know that wind chimes are everywhere. Sadly, no matter how beautiful they all are, some just don't sound that good.
And that's what sets Woodstock Chimes apart. Founded by a Grammy award winning musician, each and every one of their chimes are tuned with precision. There's not an off note among them. And, Woodstock sets a high standard for social responsibility as well (a topic for another post!)
Well crafted (mine has lasted more than 10 years under an eave), they are a delight. For me, hearing a chime is a trigger for relaxation -- I'm transported to a place where everything is calm. It's also a memory -- my mother loved wind chimes as well. We all need something that can take us to a better place, where we can feel grounded and free from the burdens of the day. Mine is a wind chime. What's yours?
Wind chimes happen to be one of my favorite gifts to give, either for special occasions or "just because." I can choose from a larger chime (like the 26" long Ode to Joy) or a smaller 12" precious stone chime (to the right). Both chimes are made by Woodstock Chimes in upstate New York. If you've been in any garden store recently, you know that wind chimes are everywhere. Sadly, no matter how beautiful they all are, some just don't sound that good.
And that's what sets Woodstock Chimes apart. Founded by a Grammy award winning musician, each and every one of their chimes are tuned with precision. There's not an off note among them. And, Woodstock sets a high standard for social responsibility as well (a topic for another post!)
Well crafted (mine has lasted more than 10 years under an eave), they are a delight. For me, hearing a chime is a trigger for relaxation -- I'm transported to a place where everything is calm. It's also a memory -- my mother loved wind chimes as well. We all need something that can take us to a better place, where we can feel grounded and free from the burdens of the day. Mine is a wind chime. What's yours?
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Just Getting it Done Already!
With schools in our area back in session at the end of this month, the fact that my "This summer I should...." List hasn't gotten much shorter is starting to weigh on my mind. I've done a lot that wasn't on the original list but That List is still pretty long.
Whether I attribute it to time management issues, a preference for working under deadlines, my ability to be flexible and adjust my priorities, or my self-diagnosed ADD tendencies, this isn't a unique occurrence. Some of the items are pretty large and will take several days (clean out and reorganize my office, which has turned into the family catch-all storage room), but some are pretty small (publish a blog entry at least every week, preferably several times a week).
What does That List have to do with to topic of caring, which this blog is supposed to be about?
Everything, really. One of my favorite teachers, life coach extraordinaire Julio Olalla, was the first person to put the idea in terms I understood: how do I identify those things that are important to me? By the time and energy that I put towards them; by what I make a priority.
If it really matters, if I really care for it, I'll make room in my life for it. "It" can be a personal relationship, spiritual growth, getting ahead at work, physical health, or anything else. Want an interesting exercise? Figure out how much time you spent on each area of your life in the past week or month. It's an eye opening way to see what really matters and what doesn't. My morning ritual (a couple of cups of coffee and a review of the New York Times headlines) is clearly a higher priority than many other activities.
One of the items on my summer list was to continue my year-long effort focusing on my health. I expected that meant getting the standard prods and pokes, seeing a few specialists for those nagging issues that just haven't gone away, exercising regularly, and eating better. On average, a very manageable few hours a week. Turns out, focusing on my health, demonstrating that I cared for myself, became the overwhelming priority this summer (a topic for another post), taking up the majority of my time and energy and much of my family's.
And that's a big reason why the other items on That List are still there. They fell in priority. That doesn't mean that they are not still important; they're just not as important. But now, with only weeks to go, I need a way to tackle at least some of them.
One of my favorite new reads is ADDitude Magazine, an online mag focused on ADD, but which contains a lot of good information for everyone regardless of any diagnosis. The article that caught my eye recently is 9 Ways to Just Get It DONE Already! It's helped me to look at That List with a fresh eye, prioritize those things I care about, eliminate those I don't care as much about, and get stuff done.
Does your List really reflect your priorities and what you care about?
Whether I attribute it to time management issues, a preference for working under deadlines, my ability to be flexible and adjust my priorities, or my self-diagnosed ADD tendencies, this isn't a unique occurrence. Some of the items are pretty large and will take several days (clean out and reorganize my office, which has turned into the family catch-all storage room), but some are pretty small (publish a blog entry at least every week, preferably several times a week).
What does That List have to do with to topic of caring, which this blog is supposed to be about?
Everything, really. One of my favorite teachers, life coach extraordinaire Julio Olalla, was the first person to put the idea in terms I understood: how do I identify those things that are important to me? By the time and energy that I put towards them; by what I make a priority.
If it really matters, if I really care for it, I'll make room in my life for it. "It" can be a personal relationship, spiritual growth, getting ahead at work, physical health, or anything else. Want an interesting exercise? Figure out how much time you spent on each area of your life in the past week or month. It's an eye opening way to see what really matters and what doesn't. My morning ritual (a couple of cups of coffee and a review of the New York Times headlines) is clearly a higher priority than many other activities.
One of the items on my summer list was to continue my year-long effort focusing on my health. I expected that meant getting the standard prods and pokes, seeing a few specialists for those nagging issues that just haven't gone away, exercising regularly, and eating better. On average, a very manageable few hours a week. Turns out, focusing on my health, demonstrating that I cared for myself, became the overwhelming priority this summer (a topic for another post), taking up the majority of my time and energy and much of my family's.
And that's a big reason why the other items on That List are still there. They fell in priority. That doesn't mean that they are not still important; they're just not as important. But now, with only weeks to go, I need a way to tackle at least some of them.
One of my favorite new reads is ADDitude Magazine, an online mag focused on ADD, but which contains a lot of good information for everyone regardless of any diagnosis. The article that caught my eye recently is 9 Ways to Just Get It DONE Already! It's helped me to look at That List with a fresh eye, prioritize those things I care about, eliminate those I don't care as much about, and get stuff done.
Does your List really reflect your priorities and what you care about?
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