A Kate Spade Kind of Life

I don't normally fall for things like this.... designer bags, shoes, or anything else that has a "label."  It's just not my style. I tend toward basic, neutral, and classic styles that last for years.  But then, a few years ago, I found this Kate Spade bag, which I blame completely on my teenage daughter, who really, really wanted a specific cell phone case (and who really doesn’t ask for much).

The Moroccan Green Florence bag became an obsession. I'd sneak a look at night before turning in. I tracked its sale price, just to see how low it would go. I rationalized. I asked friends to help me justify the splurge (they were amazingly helpful, by the way.) For a full two days, when it was a miraculous 45% off plus free shipping, I was ready to buy. 

I envisioned myself carrying my bag as I walked into the office, a fancy boutique, or the grocery store wearing ensembles that would make all the "Seen on the Street" fashion pages. I'd get to work on time.  The house would be spotless, and nutritious, tasty meals would be on the table for a family dinner each night.   

And that’s when it hit me. Even if the price was ridiculously low for a Kate Spade bag, even if it was exactly the right size and in a color I loved, it wouldn't do what I was really hoping it would.  My obsession with the bag reflected my need for order in the midst of chaos.  

My husband had been in the hospital - Intensive Care, actually - for three months and had contracted yet another infection. My daughters felt my fear and added it to their normal preteen and teen stresses. A major deadline on a “this can’t fail” project loomed at work. My insomnia was in overdrive and caffeine and takeout dinners had become major parts of my diet.

I finally admitted that I was overwhelmed. And no bag was going to fix that. Miraculously, my craving vanished into thin air.  I put effort into those things that I could control, like making sure I got enough sleep and accepting offers from good friends who volunteered to make us dinners on a regular basis. The ability to distinguish what I can control has made a world of difference in how well I navigate the craziness in my life.  

P.S.  I found a well-made bag in a go-with-everything color at a non-splurge price that has served me well. It hasn't changed my life, but I’m no longer  expecting it too.