With Great Power Comes Great Optimism

Years ago, I was in a seminar on personal power. While the speaker (who is long forgotten) was focused on power within an organization, the lessons apply to every aspect of life. His main point was that power comes from having options. If we can see options, we can gain power because we become active players, taking some measure of control over our lives and our future.

This Joan Rivers* quote is a different way of making the same point.  Those of us old enough to have watched Joan pre-Fashion Police know that her life had its share of ups and downs.  What kept her going was her ability to take control over her life.  Even after a horrific year (her husband committed suicide, her TV show was cancelled, and a feud with Johnny Carson resulted in no one willing to hire her), she pulled herself together and moved forward. 
 
I believe her greatest power came not from her ability to see options but from her ability to create new options when she didn't like the ones she saw. And that gave Joan optimism about the future. Knowing that she had the power to make her own door let her live life on her own terms. 

As a caregiver (or parent, employee, or fill-in-the-blank), there were many days when the doors in front of me were depressing, locked, or too scary to go through.  I wish I could say that I created my own door before it was the last resort, but I can't.  I often felt powerless to do anything but be swept along in the current, hoping that whatever was happening would end soon and we'd return to whatever the last version of "normal" was.

It's only been in the last year or two that I've truly realized that living according to someone else's priorities just isn't what I want to do, or the lesson that I want to teach my children. All of a sudden, that door that was too scary now seems like the best and only real option.  I may not know what the "something terrific" will be, but knowing that I'm creating it, that I'm actively choosing that option, gives me great power and great optimism.  And that's not half bad.

*The quote is from Joan Rivers' 1992 book Still Talking.